I have written about co-parenting and dealing with an ex. A co-parenting app can be a lifesaver in these situations. That is especially true when your ex makes life difficult.
A co-parenting app is not going to magically solve all your problems with your ex. What it can do is act as a virtual guard rail to keep your interactions positive and productive.
Here are 4 reasons I use an app.
- You are keeping a written record
- It tends to make things a lot more civil
- Apps include things like shared calendars to keep schedules aligned
- In the worst case you can use it as evidence in court
1. The written record
There is nothing more frustrating than co-parenting with someone that ignores facts. You can send screenshots of texts and have your co-parenting partner say “I never wrote that”. If push came to shove they could delete the evidence from their phone.
The co-parenting app I use is Talking Parents. One of the things I love about this app is that nobody can delete any part of the conversation. That means neither co-parent could delete either the other’s posts or their own.
This kind of unalterable record helps to keep the air clear. It can be from things as simple as where a child pick up will occur. It can also memorialize threats and hostility.
2. Keep things civil with a co-parenting app
I have spent a great deal of my life dealing with a hostile ex. That is even more problematic when you’re trying to co-parent with the same person.
Co-parenting apps will not keep a conversation civil on their own. When you remind your ex that a record is being kept that cannot change, that tends to tone down the conversation.
To be clear this does not solve any problems that might exist between the two of you. You also cannot solve problems in a hostile and threatening environment.
So the benefit of the app for me was in the reduction of the threats and hostility. This generally led to more productive conversations about important co-parenting decisions.
3. Neat features like shared calendars
Sometimes honest mistakes happen. You could think that you’re picking up the kids at three and your ex thinks it’s two.
The more sinister side of this is when people make mistakes on purpose. This can cause inconvenience, anger, and frustration.
The less sinister advantage of a shared calendar is it keeps both parents on the same page. The more dubious one is that it can show a pattern of deceitful behavior. This is a great feature of a co-parenting app.
4. Take it to court
Companies like Talking Parents will provide a certified copy of your account you can take to a court of law. This could provide very helpful in trying to prove claims made against your co-parent.
Although I never had to do this myself, it is hard not to see the tremendous benefit this option can provide. That is why the fact that these conversations can’t change is so beneficial.
Go get a co-parenting app
With so many great co-parenting apps out there, there is no reason not to use one. Even if things go great between you and your co-parent, this is still a great way to have a shared communication about your kids.